My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
