who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
