Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
