i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
