Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
only you would photoshop your dick
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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