Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is wine microwaveable?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
