sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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