So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
