I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Houston, we have a squirter
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
