he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
