I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
