You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
