The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
