He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
