dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
