Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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