Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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