you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
