you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
