I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
