summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
