By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
