man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is wine microwaveable?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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