I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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