Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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