I think im going to throw up on grandma
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
