So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
