Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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