Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize