yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
