Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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