you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize