i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
