She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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