This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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