Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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