Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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