Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't special order awesome
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
