Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize