I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
