just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
