O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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