I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
