I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
