Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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