You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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