No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
