He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
