dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
