Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
