come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
