8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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