I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
