mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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