I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
