He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Enjoy the penises
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize