Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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