but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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