I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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