Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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