OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
