my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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