What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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