Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
