What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
