My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
